Sons and Parents.
How important is the opinion of ones parents to a child's behaviour after the child has reached maturity?
After a child has reached maturity how important are the opinions of his or her parents in influencing subsequent behavior.
In my case the answer would be significantly. Since I was an infant it has always been a primary goal to seek parental approval. Parental approval and disapproval in the form of discipline were and still are the cornerstone of my psychological well being.
To this day I still feel that it is my responsability to act in a manner that casts our family in good light politically, strong physically and financially.
My parents, to their credit allowed me to exercise my responsabilty early and often.
As in the Scout Oath, I keep myself physicaly strong, mentally awake and morally straight!
In the past 4 years I have been called upon in several occasions to step up for the family. Decisions made have been decisive. critical and many would say beyond the call of duty. Decisions to practice and then to stop practice in Florida have allowed me to intervene in crisises that could have easily blown up. My motivations stem from what my mother and father taught me, that is to be responsable and make them proud. I can't make my father proud any more, he hardly recongizes me. I have to try to remember what would make him proud of me and act upon the remembrance.
Mom, there is an advertisement on TV for an opthamologist about my age in Fort Myers. He puts his mother and his mother-in-law on to say how proud they are of the way he treats his patients. I like the ad. It makes me warm inside. I need that warmth. "You're a good boy, Stuart." are words that have been and always will be the holy grail for me. When you told me, "You are a good boy, Stuart." when we bought our first dog "Snowball" my dog allergies nearly went away.
When outcomes are less than optimal, you know that I am the first to blame myself... "rake myself over the coals." I was nauseus when I saw that we were flying out on different days. But It was even more painful to hear you quickly conclude that it was all my fault and that the travel agent was not
at all responsible for sending you and I on the same flight on two consequetive days without considering the circumstances. (The travel agent knew that I was traveling out early and we were coming back together. She knew my intent was to come right home after the cruise as was Janice's who also went out three days early. She even helped arrange for us to be with you when you arrived in San Francisco.) But that is not the important point here. What is important is that I want you to know that I still need to feel your love behind me especially now with Dad next to gone.
Even though you are in your 80th year you still have a job and that job is to make me hear when I am a good boy even though I'll be 60 soon. Why do we live so long? The answer might be for the elders to give wise nods and love to guide the more physically capable youth. I love you, Mom.
Stuart
Stuart
